How to Break Your New Year’s Resolutions, Sin City Style

Remember those admirable New Year’s goals you set for yourself at the stroke of midnight on January 1? The ones that were going to help you feel better, look better and get richer? Us either. While most people who make resolutions keep them for the first two weeks, after that things go downhill fast—only 8 percent will reach their goals in the New Year, according to a study in the Journal of Clinical Psychology. We say, why stress? Vegas knows how to help you give those lofty promises a proper sendoff. Here are five fun ways to kiss the guilt goodbye.

Resolution: Eat Healthier

Indulgence: Stuff your face at Heart Attack Grill

Feeling full after that salad or juice cleanse? Yeah, we didn’t think so. Let’s face it: A burger and fries at Fremont Street’s Heart Attack Grill, which holds the Guinness Book of World Records’ award for Highest Calorie Burger, tastes sooo much better! And if you’re gonna sabotage the diet, it might as well be with the Octuple Bypass Burger, piled high with 40—yes, forty!—slices of juicy, fatty bacon. Don’t forget the Flatliner Fries and Deep Fried Twinkies. #Dedication.

Resolution: Drink Less

Indulgence: All You Can Drink at PBR Rock Bar

You spent the last night of 2014 in a veritable blackout and vowed to sober up come January. It lasted for a matter of days and now—shocker—you’re ready to fall off the wagon. There’s no better place to do it than the Social Sundays party at PBR Rock Bar, where open bar is just $20 from 9 p.m. until 1 a.m. Get there early and sample the free apps, ’til 10 p.m. Score!

Resolution: Start Saving Money

Indulgence: The Menu Degustation at Joël Robuchon

With all that holiday shopping and a last minute trip home to see mom, you’re feeling your cash dwindle away. You planned to spend less in 2015; you even put together a budget. In Excel. But who can resist the excess of Sin City, including the sixteen-course tasting menu at the three-Michelin-starred Joël Robuchon in MGM (the only Las Vegas eatery to have attained this honor)? At $425 per person—before any wine or cocktails—the Menu Degustation features French delicacies including foie gras, truffled langoustine ravioli and beef rib eye. And don’t miss the bread and dessert trollies. Trust us.

Resolution: “Slow Down”

Indulgence: Race-car driving at Dream Racing

Life moves fast, and a top goal in 2015 was to take it down a notch. But it’d be much more fun to channel your inner Mario Andretti by getting behind the wheel of an exotic car at the Las Vegas Motor Speedway. Dream Racing offers packages starting at $189 for five laps in a Porsche Cayman GTS, but real speed demons will want to go for the Full Throttle package (note the $5,199 price tag) which allows you to take 40 high-speed laps in a Lamborghini GT. Eat your heart out, Jeff Gordon.

Resolution: Get More Sleep

Indulgence: All-night partying at Drai’s in the Cromwell

On New Year’s Day, you woke up with such a hangover that you went back to sleep until January 2, and it felt so good, you vowed to get more shut-eye in the year ahead. That is, until a high school friend came to town for the weekend and asked you to meet them at Victor Drai’s party palace on the roof of the Cromwell. The club conveniently had an after-hours located just downstairs in the basement (damn you, temptress!), and before you knew it, you were doing shots until well beyond sunrise. Extra credit: Come back in the spring when the dayclub is open for a true 24-hour party. Because who really needs sleep, anyway?

Jack Colton logo